A fragile heart. I don’t think there’s any other kind. Hearts are meant to be tender and soft, able to love deeply, easily damaged. These wounds can cause excruciating pain. But in time, these same wounds allow us to feel more deeply, to have compassion, to love more fully.
Sometimes, the pain we experience is unbearable. This pain can be caused from a single traumatic event or years of living in a chaotic environment, never knowing what would happen next. Either way, we feel the need to protect our hearts from more hurt. And so, we build walls.
These walls around our hearts serve a purpose. They keep us from being further wounded. And sometimes, I think they are necessary. They help us in times of tremendous stress or turmoil. But sometimes, the walls themselves become the problem. At least they have for me.
After spending years building these walls to protect my heart, I’ve spent years trying to dismantle them. But somehow, every time I think I’ve removed them all, I discover another layer. A layer that keeps my heart protected from wounds but leaves me feeling empty, unable to truly connect with others, alone.
And so, I will keep peeling these layers, one by one. I will remember that the God who created me loves me and wants my heart to be free. And hopefully, one day, it will be – free to be loved and free to be wounded. And then, I will strive to use this wounded heart to show compassion to others, to help them peel away protective layers, and to love them deeply.