The sound started softly, a whisper tickling my ear, sporadic and sometimes going dormant for weeks. I wondered if i was imagining things.
By now, the sound was a familiar companion, though unpredictable. Some days, I thought it was calling me, but to where I did not know.
Thrum Thrum Thrum
Sometimes hearing it brought a painful longing, as though I was being beckoned to a place I could not go.
Thrum Thrum Thrum Thrum
Other times, I felt hopeful, as though I was figuring out the way, drawing closer to its source.
Thrum Thrum Thrum Thrum Thrum
There was no ignoring it now, it’s rhythm finding a constant home in my heart, calling me to it with a strength and richness I longed to reach. And yet, it always remained, just out of reach.
Was I destined for this in between space?
A place of both immense pain and immense pleasure.
A place where I was both lost and found.
A place where I felt both invisible and exposed.
A place that felt close to home and yet so far away.
I hope not. I long to reach a place where my heart can dwell, where the beckoning call subsides and I can find rest. But until then, I find myself here, in a place of unrest, and I wait.